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World’s Best Crunchie and Malteaser Chocolate Biscuit Cake

Glorious Chocolate Biscuit Cake As Far As The Eye Can Stretch
Glorious Chocolate Biscuit Cake As Far As The Eye Can Stretch
Crunchie Malteaser Chocolate Goodness
Crunchie Malteaser Chocolate Goodness
The First Of Many Chocolate Biscuit Cake Pieces Consumed That Day
The First Of Many Chocolate Biscuit Cake Pieces Consumed That Day

I know this is a wildly arrogant statement, but this is genuinely the nicest biscuit cake ever. I only make it every few months as it’s so good I usually eat a days’s worth of calories in one go as I stand over the tray in the kitchen slicing it. It goes something like “one for the tupperware… one for me…. one for the tupperware… one for me”.

I usually add in hazelnuts and raisins to my chocolate biscuit cake but last week I decided to go wild altogether and use crunchies and malteasers instead. It was revolutionary. As I was cutting it up in the morning before work I ate two squares for breakfast!

This is really easy to make as you’re not really doing much, there’s no baking involved. Just melting chocolate, crushing biscuits and letting it set overnight. The only two things I’d say is always get more chocolate than you think you’ll need. There’s nothing worse then not having enough chocolate to coat the biscuits and just being left with chocolate crumbs. Secondly always use rich tea biscuits, digestives are the devils food and are not as nice in biscuit cake, the rich teas are way crispier. Lastly, this make a ridiculous amount of biscuit cake (like almost 2kg) so you can either half the recipe or make the full amount and give loads away to friends and be really popular!

The Best Chocolate Biscuit Cake You Will Ever Consume
The Best Chocolate Biscuit Cake You Will Ever Consume
Malteaser Crunchie Chocolate Biscuit Cake Slowly Getting Undressed in Front Of You
Malteaser Crunchie Chocolate Biscuit Cake Slowly Getting Undressed in Front Of You

Ingredients:

300g rich tea biscuits

200g milk chocolate

200g 70% dark chocolate

100g 85% dark chocolate

1 large cinema size bag of malteasers

4 crunchies

150g golden syrup

250g butter

  1. Crush up all the biscuits into little bite size pieces, not too small (they’ll turn to dust) and not too big or they won’t set properly. Chop up the crunchies into little pieces also.
  2. Line a brownie tin with greaseproof paper and butter, make sure it’s not too big as you want your biscuit cake at least and inch or two high. There’s no point giving you an exact sized tin to use as it doesn’t really matter once it’s not humongous. The cake mixture just needs to be able to spread over the whole base and remain about 2 inches high.
  3. Break up all the chocolate into pieces and put into a large, very heavy bottomed pot (it will burn in a thin pot, alternatively you could use a bain marie to melt your chocolate) on a medium heat until just melted, then add in the butter and golden syrup and stir until all melted and just combined.
  4. Stir in the biscuit pieces, malteasers and crunchie bits. When just combined just pour into the tin and pat it down so it all sits into place. This is the point where I just start eating the hot cake mixture from the spoon! Put in the fridge for about 5-6 hours (overnight would be ideal).
  5. This is really, really rich so slice into small pieces. Enjoy and try your best not to eat 5 in quick succession like I do!
Try Not To Eat The Ingredients
Try Not To Eat The Ingredients
It's Harder Not To Eat Them When You Can Smell The Melty Chocolate
It’s Harder Not To Eat Them When You Can Smell The Melty Chocolate
Once Cooled Off You Can Slice Up- It's Okay To Eat The Crumbs With Your Bare Hands
Once Cooled Off You Can Slice Up- It’s Okay To Eat The Crumbs With Your Bare Hands
It's Also Okay To Close Your Eyes As You Enjoy This
It’s Also Okay To Close Your Eyes As You Enjoy This

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